Love, me...

On this journey, I have had many revelations, but none as meaningful as the one that caused me to really evaluate how I feel about myself. 

I spent years of my life hating who I was. From what I looked like, to my hair, to my thick thighs and big butt, to my never ending quest to please, to my sensitive heart, I hated it all. I wasted so much time comparing myself to others and letting the voices inside my head and around me define how much I liked myself. I would look at other women around me and pray to be more like them. So much wasted time. 

Over the last few months, I have learned to silence those voices. I have learned that though I am not perfect, I am still worthy of love. How I look? I get that mainly from my granny and my mom. They are two of my favorite people so how can I not love me? My hair? Yeah, my medicines caused it to change, but it's a symbol of what I fought to get here. How can I not love it? My thick thighs and big butt? They're not going anywhere and they helped me to support carrying two children. How can I not love them? My quest to please? It's brought me so much joy to see others happy when I am able to help them. How can I not love that? My sensitive heart? It has given much love to others and has sometimes helped to heal them. How can I not love that? How can I not love me? 

I have finally learned how to love myself, and in doing so, I am actually learning how to love others better. I have been able to love others the way they need me to love them instead of how I want to love them. And you know what? It's beautiful. Loving someone, including yourself, on a level where you accept everything about them, put their needs before yours, and understand how they need you to love them is truly the most beautiful gift. 

I am so thankful for this part of my journey. It has not only taught me to love myself, but how to love those that are most important to me. If I tell you I love you, it is completely without condition or expectation, and it comes from the depths of my soul. 

I love you. Love, me. 

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