Finding her...

After having an amazing weekend with my daughter and one of my soul sisters, last night I had an extreme anxiety attack coupled with a lot of anger.  It hit me like a ton of bricks that tomorrow would be my 19th wedding anniversary and I couldn't stop crying. I was not crying over my ex, but more so that I felt like I had lost so much, and I got angry. Furious, actually.  I didn't understand why I was feeling so bad after having such a great weekend. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and I was just so incredibly angry. If you know me, you know I really do not get angry, with anything.  After a few hours of this, I decided to take some meds and try to go to bed. Just as I was about to fall asleep, he called. I swear, I think he knows when I really need him. Within minutes, the tears stopped and he had me laughing and calm again. I don't know how or why he is the one that my soul needs, but every time I need him, he's there. I am beyond grateful to have someone w...

"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered." - F. Scott Fitzgerald I don't know that I have ever loved anyone the way I love this man. I have never had someone understand me the way he does and have certainly never had someone who has made me feel so incredibly safe to be me. He lets me ramble and be emotional and silly and loving and he doesn't criticize me for any of it. He just listens. He knows exactly what to say and do when my head is swimming in random thoughts. He steadies me.  Last night, as we sat here laughing and watching movies, I couldn't help but stare at him. As I laid there with my head on his shoulder and arm around him, I felt like I was home. He is an incredible man who is both handsome and kind. Beneath his hardened exterior is a huge heart with more depth than most know. He is smart...almost intimidatingly smart. He is loyal and funny and generous and has the insane ability to calm me. His friendship has played a h...